chuck norris jokes

[scorpion deadman]

Chuck Norris doesn't consider it sex if the woman survives.

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris can drown a fish.

Chuck Norris doesn't do push ups, he pushes the earth down

chuck norris swallows a rubics cube and it comes out solved

Chuck Norris once got bit by a cobra. After 5 days of extreme unbearable pain, the cobra died.
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There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity – twice

chuck norris doesn't sleep,he waits
1 chuck norris roundhouse kick powers the starship enterprise

When Chuck Norris goes into the water, Chuck Norris doesn´t get wet, the water gets Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris died 10 years ago, but the death is too afraid to tell him.
Chuck Norris once saw a old man with a beard doing nothing. He got angry and said "You old bum! Get up and do something, you can rest at sunday!"
And that is how the world was created...

There are only two kinds of bad guys in the world. The ones that live... and the ones that meet chuck nor

Chuck Norris is so fast he can run around the world and kick himself in the back of the head.
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chuck norris tears are the cure for cancer to bad he never crys.
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Wat is the quickest way to mans heart?
Chuck Norris's fist.

God said let there be light, Chuck Norris said say please.

The atom bomb isn’t real.. It’s just Chuck falling out a plane and punching the ground..

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you

Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.

Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score over 8000.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Germany

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

• When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
• Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
• There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
• Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
• Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
• Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
• Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
• Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
• There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
• When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
• Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
• Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
• Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
• Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
• Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
• Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost
• Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.
• Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

[scorpion deadman]

seriously, no one has replied to this and its still on the first page since it was posted it 2 of june jesus christ

[Sub-Zero teh Elderz]

seriously, no one has replied to this and its still on the first page since it was posted it 2 of june jesus christ

This just means no one cares

[Squall_1st]

This means these are too old. But they are brilliant.

Let them stay... for now.

[amr619]

yea , this thread might be old , but it's so fuuny

[MKollector]

They're So Funny!